Is forgiveness the most important theme in the Bible?

I am conflicted by this question. While forgiveness is integral to the Christian

experience, the actual mechanics are difficult to navigate. Does one ever 'completely'

forgive? From a human perspective, I think not. Allow me to explain.

I grew up as the oldest of five children. The age difference between me

and my nearest sibling, my sister, is only fourteen months. Subsequently, the sibling rivalry between us was problematic, violently so at times. In essence, the tension between us could go from calm to red alert in mere seconds. The nature of our relationship shaped both of our lives. While the outcome has been positive for both of us, it has not always been healthy. Additionally, with four siblings, similar sibling tension stair-stepped its way through our entire clan.

"But when this son of yours who has squandered your property

with prostitutes comes home, you kill the fattened calf for him!" Luke

15:30 NIV

Fast forward twenty years, and one day I'm the father of two beautiful children

who are nine months apart. Talk about Deja Vu. Their birth order was the same as my

sister and me; the boy first, then the girl. Their fighting, sometimes violent, was so

reminiscent of what my sister and I experienced. It was manageable when they were

little but very intense. So much so that my daughter once took a spanking in order to

make sure that her brother got one as well. Adolescence only made it worse. Once, when counseling my daughter as a teenager, I opened the bible and took her to the story of the prodigal son, with the intent of showing her the error of the elder son's jealousy. When she completely embraced the elder son's hurt and wholeheartedly agreed with his position, I was at a loss for words. I will try again when she's over thirty.

Forgiveness is difficult. I believe it comes with conditions. It has been my

experience that when I forgive, I put up guard rails to ensure that I don't get hurt in that

particular way again. Does that render my forgiveness imperfect? Yes. Can forgiveness

be the most important theme in the bible? In my opinion, no.

"And yet I show you a more excellent way." I Corinthians 12:31b NKJV

I believe that the commandments to love God and our neighbors are the most

critical themes in the bible. When Peter asked Jesus if forgiveness seven times was best, Jesus countered with a number that was inconceivable to Peter. Jesus

demonstrated that perfection is not attainable by human effort. Love, however imperfect,

can be realized through obedience and practice. Jesus said we would be identifiable by

our love for one another. John tells us that love is of God. Peter, much later in life,

instructed us that love would cover a multitude of sins.

Today, my sister and I are both ministers of the Gospel. Are we still rivals? No.

We celebrate one another's lives and accomplishments. Love never fails.